You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
