Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
