Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
