I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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