This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My vagina is very pro this idea
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
