I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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