Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
