I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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