Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
