Please, let me fuck your mom
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
