there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
