the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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