the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
