Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
