wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
