Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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