U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
