i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
