I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
