I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
