Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
