Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
