don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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