Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
