Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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