His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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