Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
