omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
