dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
