fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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