How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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