But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
