you guys were way drunker than both of me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
