I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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