I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
