Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
