i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
