Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
