Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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