You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
