I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
