Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
