My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
