He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
