So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
