she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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