She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
