the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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