No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
