he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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